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My Loved One is in a Nursing Home, is it too Late?

“My loved one is in a nursing home, is it too late?” The simple answer is no, it is not too late! The only time it is too late is when there are no assets available or when all of the assets were previously gifted. If the family member in the nursing home still has assets, it is not too late.

The confusion in many of these cases arises because most individuals believe that because the nursing home didn’t mention that anything could be done, that means that nothing can be done. Unfortunately, it is not the nursing homes business office’s job to tell a family how to protect assets. It is their job to make sure that they provide great care for their residents and get paid for their services. To be completely honest, most of them do not even realize that anything can be done because when you look at the law on its face, it doesn’t really mention anything about it. You have to dig a bit deeper!

If you have a loved one that has entered a nursing home, please contact our office immediately so that you can watch our educational workshop and have a free consultation where we explain your options to you before you make any decisions. It is our job to protect you and your family and to protect as much as we possibly can for our clients. Allow us to do our job and allow the nursing homes to continue to do their job to provide care and get paid for their services.

Remember, it is not too late. If a loved one is already in a nursing home, please give us a call so you can attend our free workshop by registering here or call schedule 717-845-5390 and we’ll set you up with a free consultation.

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Estate planning and the Dysfunctional Family

Over my career as an estate planning and elder law attorney, I swear I have seen just about everything.  I cannot remember a fact pattern that surprised me or took me aback.  I am honestly at the point now where I think that dysfunctional is the norm for the common family that we assist.  I’m not sure if it’s because we specialize in estate planning and elder law and we get referrals and cases that are more complex and more advanced than others, or if that is just the norm these days.  My gut says it is probably the latter. 

I did some research to define the word dysfunctional, and there is no clear-cut definition.  But my gut would say that dysfunctional would include families such as second marriages with kids to different relationships, as well as addictions or spendthrift issues, or just family dynamics in in-tact families where people do not care for each other.  Again, I think this is probably the norm more than any exception.  

It is imperative that families are open and honest with their attorney so that the attorney can put a plan in place that addresses what they need for their specific situation.  Dysfunction does not present as the same fact pattern in any two cases, and therefore an experienced estate planning attorney is needed to be able to dot the I’s and cross the T’s.  Be very wary of the do-it-yourself sites or general practice attorneys who don’t specialize in this area if there is a complex fact pattern for you and your family. 

We love assisting any and all families and certainly love putting the fun in dysfunctional. We look forward to providing an estate plan that is unique for you and your family, whether you are dysfunctional or as functional as anyone else. 

Please feel free to give us a call if you have any questions or comments at 717-845-5390.

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How to Help Your Loved One Avoid Isolation

Isolation is something that many seniors experience on a regular basis. However, with the COVID pandemic, that isolated feeling is more common than ever. Today, we want to encourage the individuals who know someone living alone to take some small steps to help your loved one socialize.

We always encourage our clients to incorporate video conferencing or video chat to allow the family member to see their loved ones on a regular basis. This could be on a scheduled date and time each week where you have a conversation and catch up, or maybe schedule meals together where you leave the video on while everybody eats. You have to eat anyway and giving the opportunity for your loved one to spend their mealtime talking with their family and seeing familiar faces is a small gesture that could go a long way! Not only will it help them, but it will also give you the chance to assess whether your loved one is having any hearing or sight issues that should be addressed.

Encourage your loved one to join clubs. Many of them are now virtual to allow as many people possible to partake. Having them be a part of these groups will give them interactions outside of your conversations and have stories to bring you when you visit or call.

Although these are very minor suggestions, they can go a long way in helping your loved one not feel so isolated. Please feel free to give us a call if you have any questions or comments at 717-845-5390.

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CARING FOR LOVED ONES

More and more, as our population ages, many of us are taking care of aging spouses or parents. According to the Mayo Clinic, 33% of adults provide such care. Most caregivers feel an obligation to do so out of love.

However, caregivers often find that providing that care is emotionally and physically, and often financially, draining. It is essential that caregivers know their limits. The danger is that the everyday stresses and challenges of providing such care often lead caregivers to forget about themselves, which can lead to depression, social isolation, financial difficulties, stress, fatigue, loss of interest in activities, frequent pain or headaches, and other effects.

 

When we get on an airplane before we take off the flight attendants always instruct passengers that, if the oxygen masks drop down, be sure to place them on you before you help others. Why? If you pass out from lack of oxygen, you cannot help anyone else, so by taking care of yourself you are in a position to care for others. This is not selfishness – it is a necessity. 

 

When “Mary” first came to see us, her husband of over 40 years had advanced Alzheimer’s and other physical conditions, and qualified for skilled nursing level care. Caring for him was a 24-hour job – he would wander off at all hours of the day and night, and other behaviors and

Mary needed to dispense his medications throughout the day and evening. We immediately sensed that Mary was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but this was her husband, her love, to whom she had pledged herself in sickness and in health. She could not imagine abandoning her “obligation” to him by placing him in a nursing home, and, sadly, they did not qualify for Medicaid Waiver for in-home care.

We worked hard to make her understand that caring for her husband was killing her. As we talked, it became ever clearer that she could not keep up her current pace. I asked Mary how caring for her husband was affecting her; she admitted that she was under constant stress, was depressed, didn’t have any social life, and was generally wearing down. I then asked her what would happen if she were to wear down so much that she died from overwork while caring for her husband. She was startled – she hadn’t considered that. The answer was, there would be no alternative – he would have to go to a nursing home.

 

It took a couple of meetings with her, but she finally came to realize that in the long run, she was not doing her husband any favors by keeping him at home; her best course of action would be to find a great nursing home for him, and visit him frequently and get stronger physically and emotionally herself so she could continue to play an important role in her husband’s life for a long time to come.

 

If you are going to care for a loved one in the twilight of his/her life, then there are things which you should do to maintain your physical and mental health, such as:

 

  • Seek and accept help from family and support groups, including online.
  • Keep connected with family, friends, even clergy.
  • Find out from your loved one’s medical staff, or others, what resources are available to you and your loved one.
  • Give yourself permission to spend “me time” to rejuvenate your physical and mental conditions – then do it! Even a short time for yourself each day can make a huge difference.
  • Maintain good, healthy habits.
  • Exercise – it improves your mood and reduces stress.

 

You should consider all of your options, but always consider your needs as well as your loved one’s. Remember, to be an effective resource for your loved one, you need to put the oxygen mask on first before you can help others!

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Tax Issues on the Family Home for Loved Ones

HouseNJ.com’s recent article, “Complex inheritance taxes on a home,” explains the valuation of a home based on its fair market value (FMV) on the date of death, when considering estate and inheritance taxes.

If you have a home valued at over $1 million, it may sell close to that amount. Let’s say that you’re single and are 80 years old. You live with your widowed sister. Your will instructs that your sister should have life ownership, when you pass and then it is left in trust for nieces and nephews. What would their tax bill be?

The home's value is generally determined through an appraisal that would establish the home's fair market value.

Fair market value, in these circumstances, is typically defined as "the amount at which the property would change hands between a willing buyer and a willing seller, when the former is not under any compulsion to buy, and the latter is not under any compulsion to sell, both parties having reasonable knowledge of relevant facts."

The transfer of a life estate to the sister, followed by placing the home in a trust for the nieces and nephews, would mean they’d have an inheritance tax liability in New Jersey. The sister is a Class "C" beneficiary under the state’s inheritance tax laws, and the nieces and nephews are deemed to be Class "D" beneficiaries.

Generally, Class "C" beneficiaries have a $25,000 exemption and anything over that exemption is taxed at 11% on the next $1.075 million. The rates then go higher as the amount increases. Transfers to Class "D" beneficiaries are taxed at 15% on the first $700,000 and 16% on amounts exceeding $700,000.

This is unlike the situation where a beneficiary receives a readily determinable amount at death. In such cases, the tax can be calculated easily by reference to the beneficiary classes and applicable tax rates. But in this scenario, the value of the interests the beneficiaries will ultimately receive is uncertain.

However, state law provides a solution for this situation: the estate and the New Jersey Division of Taxation may use the "Compromise Tax" procedures to agree upon an inheritance tax liability. The calculation of the compromise tax is based upon actuarial factors according to the life expectancy of the current beneficiary, his or her beneficiary class and the relative probability of assets passing to the remainder beneficiaries and their respective beneficiary classes. In most cases, the taxpayer offers a proposed compromise on the inheritance tax return for consideration by the Division, based on the taxpayer's assessment of the most probable outcome.

Talk to an experienced estate planning attorney to make sure you understand and plan accordingly.

Reference: NJ.com (June 19, 2017) “Complex inheritance taxes on a home”

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