Published on February 22, 2024. Last Updated on August 26, 2025.

When it comes to estate planning, most people focus on filling out the right documents—wills, trusts, and powers of attorney—that outline their wishes for healthcare and finances. While preparing these documents is a critical step, one equally important but often overlooked detail is ensuring the right people have access to them.

One of the most essential estate planning tools is the healthcare directive (also called an advance directive). This is a document that functions as both a healthcare power of attorney and a living will. It allows you to appoint an agent to make healthcare decisions on your behalf and provides clear instructions about the types of end-of-life care you want to receive.

The importance of having a healthcare directive in place cannot be understated. But it is rendered useless unless you ensure that it is shared with your doctors, hospital, and all other members of your medical care team. This is a matter that our team at Bellomo & Associates always prioritizes to ensure that our clients’ estate planning efforts don’t go unrecognized.

Why Sharing Your Healthcare Directive Matters

A healthcare directive is designed to eliminate uncertainty and give both your family and your medical providers a clear roadmap in difficult times. But if the document is not available when it is needed, the result can be confusion, disagreement, and unnecessary stress.

Consider how healthcare decisions are made in practice. If a patient cannot speak for themselves, the medical team turns to the legal documentation on file. Without access to your directive, the team may turn to family members, which can lead to miscommunication or even conflict among loved ones. Even worse, in the absence of instructions, doctors may default to aggressive, life-sustaining treatments that do not reflect your actual wishes.

Sharing your healthcare directive with the appropriate people ensures that your healthcare requests are respected, even when you cannot speak for yourself. It also protects your family from having to make impossible decisions on the spot, and allows your healthcare providers to carry out your care with confidence and compassion.

A Real-Life Example

Recently, a friend of mine shared a powerful story about what can happen when families neglect to distribute their healthcare documents. Her mother, for whom she was the designated healthcare agent, experienced a serious medical crisis and was admitted to the hospital. When the time came to make critical medical decisions, the hospital staff requested a copy of her healthcare directive. Neither my friend nor her stepfather had brought the document with them. And to make matters worse, they weren’t sure where the paperwork was.

Faced with this uncertainty, the hospital offered to prepare a new set of documents, including a new healthcare directive. The staff explained that it would be necessary to clarify who should serve as the patient’s agent if decisions needed to be made quickly.

When the nurse asked her mother who she wanted to act as her agent, my friend suggested that both she and her stepfather could share the responsibility. But her mother immediately spoke up, making it clear that she wanted only her daughter to serve in that role.

The moment was tense and painful. My friend could see that her stepfather—someone she was very close to—was hurt by his wife’s lack of trust in his decision-making ability. What should have been a straightforward situation became uncomfortable and strained, all because the original healthcare directive had not been readily available.

If the hospital had had the existing documents on file, the mother’s wishes would have been honored immediately. Preventing her daughter from being placed in such an awkward position, and causing unnecessary conflict within the family. This story underscores how important it is not only to create a directive but also to ensure that it reaches the right hands.

Who Needs a Copy?

The most effective healthcare directive is one that is widely accessible to the people who need it most. We encourage clients to provide copies to their doctors, hospitals, and every member of their medical care team. These are the professionals most likely to need the document in an emergency, and having it already in your medical record ensures that there will be no delays in honoring your wishes.

It is also wise to provide copies to those who will oversee that your choices are carried out. If you have named an agent—such as a spouse, adult child, or close friend—that individual should have a copy on hand.

In fact, we recommend giving copies to all close family members, even those who are not your designated agents. Doing so helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures everyone knows exactly what your wishes are. When we work with clients on completing a healthcare directive, we always provide extra copies for this purpose.

Avoiding Common Mistakes

One of the biggest mistakes people make is assuming that simply having the document is enough. The truth is, accessibility is everything. Here are a few pitfalls to avoid:

• Leaving it at home: Keeping your healthcare directive in a drawer or filing cabinet means it may not be accessible when an emergency arises.

• Not telling anyone about it: If your family doesn’t know where the document is located, they won’t be able to produce it when needed.

• Failing to update medical providers: If you switch doctors or hospitals, make sure your directive is added to your new medical records.

The easiest way to avoid these issues is to be proactive. Hand a copy directly to your physician’s office, provide one to your local hospital, and make sure your designated agent keeps a copy with them. Taking these steps ensures there are no delays when decisions need to be made.

Preparation Provides Peace of Mind

Knowing that your healthcare directive is in the hands of your medical team and loved ones provides peace of mind. It means your family won’t be forced into conflict, your wishes won’t be left up to interpretation, and your healthcare providers will have clear guidance on how to proceed.

This preparation also offers emotional relief. Families who have been through medical crises without documentation often describe the experience as chaotic, stressful, and guilt-ridden. By contrast, families with directives in place say they feel reassured, even in difficult times, because they are confident they are carrying out their loved one’s wishes.

The difference between those two experiences often comes down to one simple step: making sure the documents are accessible to the right people.

Protect Your Future with Bellomo & Associates

Estate planning is about more than drafting documents—it’s about making sure those documents are accessible when they’re needed most. A healthcare directive that sits in a drawer, unseen by doctors or family, is as ineffective as not having one at all.

Our mission at Bellomo & Associates is to give families peace of mind by helping them not only create legally sound directives but also ensure they are properly shared and understood. That’s why we implement simple, yet effective practices like providing extra copies, encouraging distribution to medical providers and loved ones, and guiding you in deciding who should have access.

If you already have a directive in place, take a moment to ask yourself: Have I shared it with my healthcare providers, hospital, and family members? If the answer is no, there is no better time to act. Contact us at Bellomo & Associates for further guidance, or attend one of our free weekly workshops to learn everything you need to know about estate and life care planning.