The specifics don’t matter: where inheritance is concerned, both in terms of monetary value and sentimental value, emotions can run high – and the fallout can last a lifetime.

When planning for the estate, and for who should get what, there is an undeniable element of self-expression. Sometimes this is a direct mode of expression, whether of appreciation for a person or an extolling of virtues, and so written large in your estate plan. Other times, and especially as a family-loving person, you express yourself far more subtly by ensuring that your heirs and the entire family can come together even after your passing and that no fight is to break out with regard to the inheritances you leave. You want them to be happy together, but you will settle for just ensuring that they can and do still talk to one another.

Estate planning for the entire family is a difficult balancing act. It can take a good deal of thought, but is well worth the effort. Forbes recently offered a bit of wisdom on the topic and a goal too: “How To Make Sure Your Children Keep Speaking To Each Other After You Die.”

Inheritance is often conceived as the tool to ultimately show your favorites or to spurn your less-loved family members. Of course, this is something of a Victorian fascination (and an age-old scandal that makes for good drama) than a life-goal commonly shared by those planning their estates. Nonetheless, the thought is out there and the anxiety as well.

Inheritances can become charged whether you want them to or not. Keeping the family talking after you are gone, or as a loving unit no less, can mean a number of things within the peculiar context of each individual family. More often than not, communication is key. So, how do you intend to keep the peace? Have you planned accordingly already?

For more information about estate planning and inheritance, please visit my estate planning website.

Reference: Forbes (June 4, 2014) “How To Make Sure Your Children Keep Speaking To Each Other After You Die”