Published on March 9, 2023. Last Updated on September 23, 2025.
As an elder law attorney, I frequently meet with families who feel overwhelmed by the challenges of long-term care. When a loved one requires nursing home placement, the emotional toll is often compounded by financial concerns. Families want to provide the best possible care, but they also want to protect the assets they worked a lifetime to build. Too often, families only learn after the fact that they could have done more to protect their savings, homes, or other treasured possessions. This raises a common and painful question: “Why didn’t the nursing facility tell us?”
The truth is that nursing facilities are not designed to advise families on asset protection, Medicaid planning, or elder law. Their focus is care—not legal strategy. That is where consulting with an elder law attorney makes a critical difference.
A Client’s Story: The Cost of Not Knowing
Recently, I met with a woman whose husband had been placed in a nursing facility four years earlier due to dementia. She had done everything possible to keep him at home, but his escalating behaviors—including aggression and violence—made it impossible for her to continue caregiving on her own. While she was pleased with the quality of care her husband received at the facility, she came to my office concerned about money.
At that point, she had only a couple of thousand dollars left and a family cabin that held deep sentimental value. She feared losing even that. Thankfully, I was able to give her good news: she could preserve both the remaining funds and the cabin. Her relief was immediate.
However, before leaving my office, she asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks: “If I had come to you four years ago, would there have been anything else you could have done to help me?” My answer was yes. Had she sought legal guidance at the beginning, we could have protected 100% of her assets. She looked at me, stunned, and asked: “Why didn’t the nursing facility tell me?”
The answer was simple: the nursing facility is not her lawyer. Their responsibility is to care for patients and collect payment, not to provide legal advice on asset protection or Medicaid eligibility. They did nothing wrong—but they also could not give her the guidance she truly needed.
Why Nursing Homes Don’t Give Legal Advice
It is natural to feel frustrated when you discover that you could have taken steps to save your home or other assets, but were never told. However, it’s important to understand why nursing facilities do not share this information:
- Different Roles: Nursing facilities provide medical and personal care. Elder law attorneys provide legal and financial strategies.
- No Legal Obligation: Facilities have no duty to advise you on Medicaid planning, estate planning, or asset protection. Their only legal obligation is to provide appropriate care.
- Limited Knowledge: Even when staff members offer guidance, it’s usually based on general experience rather than in-depth knowledge of complex legal rules.
- Conflict of Interest: Nursing homes are focused on receiving payment for care. Their advice may unintentionally encourage families to spend down assets faster than necessary.
This is why families should not rely solely on the facility’s billing office for advice about Medicaid or asset protection. The laws surrounding these are complicated and constantly changing. Without proper planning, families often spend far more than necessary.
Medicaid Myths and Misunderstandings
Many families mistakenly believe that to qualify for Medicaid, they must spend every last dollar of their savings. While Medicaid does require applicants to meet strict financial criteria, there are lawful strategies to protect assets and still qualify for benefits. Unfortunately, these strategies are not well understood outside the field of elder law.
Some common myths include:
- Myth #1: “You have to lose everything before Medicaid will help.”
- Myth #2: “The nursing home will tell you the best way to qualify.”
- Myth #3: “It’s too late to protect assets once a loved one is already in care.”
The truth is that Medicaid planning can be done both in advance and at the time of crisis. While early planning is best, even families who wait until after nursing home admission often have options to preserve significant assets.
The Role of an Elder Law Attorney
Elder law attorneys focus on the intersection of aging, healthcare, and finances. Our role is to:
- Protect assets: Strategies may include creating trusts, transferring property, or restructuring financial resources in ways that comply with Medicaid rules.
- Navigate Medicaid applications: We ensure that applications are accurate, complete, and strategically structured to maximize eligibility while protecting what matters most.
- Advocate for families: We represent your best interests, not the nursing home’s, and ensure your loved one’s care does not come at the expense of your financial security.
In short, elder law attorneys bridge the gap between the care nursing homes provide and the financial protection families need.
Why Timing Matters
In the case of my client, had she sought legal advice when her husband first entered the facility, we could have protected 100% of her family’s assets. By the time she came to see me, years of private-pay nursing home bills had depleted their savings.
Timing can make the difference between preserving a lifetime of hard work and losing everything to long-term care costs. The sooner families consult an elder law attorney, the more options they have.
Proactive Planning vs. Crisis Planning
There are two general approaches to Medicaid and asset protection planning:
- Proactive Planning: Families plan years in advance, often through trusts or other strategies, to protect assets well before a crisis occurs.
- Crisis Planning: Families seek legal help when a loved one is already in need of care. While options may be more limited, significant asset protection is often still possible.
Both approaches can work—but proactive planning gives families more control and peace of mind.
The Emotional Side of Asset Protection
For many families, protecting assets is not just about money. It’s about preserving legacies, family homes, and heirlooms that hold deep emotional value. In my client’s case, the family cabin represented decades of memories. Being able to save it meant more than dollars and cents—it meant protecting a piece of family history for future generations.
This emotional side of planning is often overlooked, but it’s one of the most meaningful reasons to consult an elder law attorney.
What Families Can Do Right Now
If your loved one is already in a nursing home—or you see the possibility on the horizon—here are steps you can take today:
- Consult an elder law attorney immediately. Even if you think it’s too late, it often isn’t.
- Gather financial documents. Bank statements, property deeds, retirement accounts, and other records will help your attorney create a strategy.
- Avoid making transfers without advice. Giving away money or property without proper planning can actually create penalties that delay Medicaid eligibility.
- Ask questions early. Don’t wait until assets are nearly gone before seeking help.
Bellomo & Associates Is Ready to Help
The question, “Why didn’t the nursing facility tell us?” is one I hear all too often. The answer is simple: they cannot and should not give legal advice. That responsibility falls to elder law attorneys, who are trained to protect both care and assets.
If you or a loved one is facing the challenges of nursing home care, don’t wait until it’s too late. The sooner you act, the more you can protect. At Bellomo & Associates, we’re here to guide you through every step of the process with clarity, compassion, and experience. Contact us today to schedule a consultation. Together, we can ensure your loved one receives the care they need while protecting the assets you have worked so hard to build.
