Mother’s Day

Make no mistake, your mother is probably one of the best friends you’ll ever have. She has the ability to teach with kindness, understand without judgment and love unconditionally.

Sometimes, though, even Mom can say things that can be interpreted in several ways. Reader’s Digest Magazine recently published a few. Here are some of my favorites:

My mother taught me RELIGION.

“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.” 

My mother taught me LOGIC.

“Because I said so, that’s why.” 

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me.” 

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

“Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident.” 

My mother taught me IRONY.

“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about!” 

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.” 

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISTS.

“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!” 

My mother taught me about STAMINA.

“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.” 

My mother taught me about WEATHER.

“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.” 

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times, don’t exaggerate!” 

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.” 

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

“Stop acting like your father!”

My mother taught me about ENVY.

“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.” 

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

“Just wait until we get home.” 

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

“You are going to get it when you get home!” 

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.” 

My mother taught me ESP.

“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?” 

My mother taught me HUMOR.

“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.” 

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.” 

My mother taught me GENETICS.

“You’re just like your father.” 

My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

“Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?” 

My mother taught me WISDOM.

“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.” 

My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!” 

Remember, mom is special. Love her while you have the privilege and opportunity!


jeffrey bellomo

Jeffrey R. Bellomo, Esquire is a Certified Elder Law Attorney by the National Elder Law Foundation under authorization of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court. As the owner of Bellomo & Associates, LLC he advises families about the legal challenges facing them today. He counsels clients and provides solutions on: Asset Protection, Special Needs Trusts, Wills, Trust Design, Guardianships, Medicaid and Estate Planning & Administration. His mission is to provide professional caring service to all his clients.

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