How to Start Talking to Your Parents about Finances
Go Banking Ratesrecently posted an article entitled, “How to Talk About Money With Your Aging Parents,” which emphasized that even if your parents are hesitant to open up, the sooner you talk to them about money, the better. If not, it only becomes more difficult to obtain the information you need to help them manage their money and make decisions if they become incapacitated. In the worst case scenario, one would have to go to court to get control. This has the potential to destroy families. No one wants to resort to that.
Here are several strategies from the article to get aging parents to discuss their finances. Make sure that the conversation is respectful. Also, make certain that it’s understood that you’re not trying to take over your parents’ finances. Starting with an area that doesn’t feel like a loss of power may be more successful, the article advises.
1. Use a story. Whether true or not, this can get the ball rolling. It can be about someone who did or didn’t have information about his elderly parents’ finances and what happened: major headaches for the children because they didn’t have any information about the father’s accounts or legal documents. Assure your parents that you want to make sure this doesn’t happen to your family and suggest that they divulge some of their financial information now.
2. Get help from your siblings. The child with the closest relationship with the parent should start the conversation, with the other kids joining in later conversations to discuss specific details about your parents’ money.
3. Talk about your own situation. The article notes that you might be able to get your parents to speak more freely if you share what you’ve done to get your own financial affairs in order. This can include that you’ve met with an estate planning attorney to create documents such as a will and trust. Also, let your parents know that you have a list of your accounts and passwords to give to your spouse if the unforeseeable occurs. Then ask your parents what steps they’ve taken.
4. Discuss your parents’ future. Inquire of your parents about their plans for retirement. This is a more general discussion that can get things going, the article said. You can ask if they plan to downsize or what sort of care they’d like to receive if something happened. This could start a detailed discussion about their finances.
There are several other great tips in the article, one of which is to get some help from an expert. If your parents aren’t willing to talk to you, suggest that they meet with an estate law attorney. He or she can help urge your parents to share important financial information with you.
For more information about estate planning, please visit my estate planning website.
Reference: Go Banking Rates (July 18, 2015) “How to Talk About Money With Your Aging Parents”